The mystery of the flush right menu.
I'm running Windows 8.1 on my development machine and I made the mistake of connecting to it *once* with Splashtop. Doing so turned on all of the "Touch Enabled" parts of the UI (which I can't use day to day, because the machine isn't touch enabled). The strangest of the side effects is that the menus suddenly were flush right instead of the normal US English flush left.
The fix is simple enough: run the Tablet PC Settings and turn it from Right Handed to Left Handed. (The optimization as to which way the menus fly out for touch does make sense... for touch users.) However, if you are not *currently* touch enabled, you may need to invoke it via the shell link (just paste into File Explorer):
This will open the Tablet PC Settings even if they are hidden from you... because you aren't using a tablet.
And now you know.